I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
