i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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