just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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