420 ftw
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize