Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
