We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
ok first of all what the fuck
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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