I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
