new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
