I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
