I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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