I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
