yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
