Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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