things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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