Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
