I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
