Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
