Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
