Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
