Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
