talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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