I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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