I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
