No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize