With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
