I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just cropdusted the office
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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