as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We left an ass print on the piano.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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