i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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