Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
