I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
