I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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