How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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