My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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