You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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