If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
