It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
