I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize