my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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