I wanna bring you to show and tell
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
