Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
