A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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