dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
