2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
