eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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