Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
