at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
