my sisters under your porch take her home
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
