just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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