Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
