Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Fuck appropriateness.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
