he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
