Christians are straight up FREAKS
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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