It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
