I will die if light touches me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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