I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im drinking this country out of the recession.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
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I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
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You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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