you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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