I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
