I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
