Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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