I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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