you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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