O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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