This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
