Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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