Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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