he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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