Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I am one with the molecules
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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