and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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