the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
