Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
