It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
