Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I bet he comes in French.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
