i just wanna soil my oats bro
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
