Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
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