The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Im part way to drunk.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
